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Good Clean Jokes They say laughter is the best medicine. So read a few of these and get well soon!
Good Business Sense Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken aback, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"   The New Catholic In Northern Ireland a Protestant man married a Catholic woman. After their marriage he decided to covert to the Catholic church. So he went to the preist and took instructions and was later baptized Catholic. He had one problem however. He couldn't get it into his skull that he was a Catholic man, and no longer a Protestant. This became such a problem that he returned to the priest and asked for some advice. The priest told him that if he was to repeat the phrase "I'm a Catholic, not a Protestant" enough times the idea might penetrate his thick skull. The man left mumbling to himself, "I'm a Catholic, not a Protestant. I'm a Catholic, not a Protestant." The next Friday the priest decided to visit the newlyweds. He knocked on the door and was greeted by the wife. When he stepped in, he smelled something that should not be in a Catholic's home on a Friday. He asked the wife where her husband was, and she replied that he was in the kitchen. The priest walked into the kitchen and saw the man pouring thick brown gravy on a thick hunk of roast beef. Agast, the priest was about to explode when he heard the man mumble, "You're a trout, not a cow. You're a trout, not a cow." Your Boss and You
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. Super Genius There's a dropout named Bobby and a super genius named Greg sitting on a bench waiting on a bus. The genius gets bored, leans over to the dropout and says, "Hey, I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you 50 bucks." The dropout says, "Alright, man." The genius asks the dropout, "What is the Pythagorian Theory?" The dropout replies, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. "Okay," the dropout says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?" The genius thinks real hard and finally gives up. He hands the dropout 50 bucks then asks, "So, what is the answer?" The dropout says, "I don't know." and hands the genius five bucks. Feeling better?
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